On the second of January, towards the end of a truly beautiful trip with my love, we visited the surreal Jardin Majorelle in Marrakech, Morocco. We explored this paradise, the former home of Yves Saint Laurent. Deep in conversation, we somehow got to discussing my annoying habit of defaulting to speedwalking. I recalled that quote “if you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together” and shared it with him. “You want that?” he asked. It sounds simple, but that’s a complex question for one who so values autonomy and strength. I said that I did, that our journey enriches my heart and my life more than I ever could have imagined. He kind fumbled with his pocket and suddenly, with moving sincerity and excitement, holding out a ring. This man can surprise me! That he wants this moved me very deeply. And this also feels inevitable. What we share often leaves me amazed, grateful, and moved all at the same time. Marrying this sweet, sexy, special, kind, imaginative human is doubtless the best decision I’ll ever make.
And, for the peanut gallery (that hopefully is only in my own head); that I am engaged to a man does not make me any less queer. If we listen to the voices in our incredibly complex souls and not the labels and dictates of the patriarchy, it’s really very simple. That’s not to say that, throughout my life, I haven’t had moments when my choices made me feel out of step with my communities. But humans are complex and our only reliable compas is only ever our own true north. As usual, my decisions are about choosing what is right for me over proscriptions and I stand true to that above all else.